Nikita von Teickenberg

As a woman with migrant roots, half German, half Thai, it has been difficult to feel a sense of belonging in this world. As a child a feeling of separateness has creeped into my heart for I couldn’t hide my otherness. This kind of isolation made me feel numb, made me want to disappear for many years of becoming a young woman.

However, I slowly understood that I’m not the only one feeling isolated in this world. In this digital age, we live in a society that couldn’t live more disconnected from self and from one another - no matter the outer appearance. It’s the inside, the fearful hearts, too shy to connect and to encounter what’s behind the facades of each other. Soon I realized that my struggles are everyone’s struggles - a collective problem caused by those who chose to wear the costumes of villains and victims. I feel for those who cry in silence, especially for women - as we carry so much in this evolutionary process of humanity.

With this series I want to honor and give back to my ancestral lineage of women. Thus, I decided to portrait my mother and include my two daughters in this creative process. As much as I‘m a part of my mother, my daughters are a part of me. We all carry the essence, the pain and the wisdom of our ancestors in our bodies, in our cells and it’s time to acknowledge and celebrate our roots and uniqueness - shamelessly. As a woman and mother I finally learned to stand in my feminine power and to pass this on to my daughters, for them to carry their uniqueness lightly and proudly.

My intention for this work was to depict femininity in a natural way. Knowing that my mother deeply embraces her heritage, I took photos of her wearing a traditional sarong. As a photographer I frame the essence of people, the soul of the moment, the beauty of their hearts. To me true beauty means to unapologetically accept myself. Not only the outer appearance, but especially those inner aspects: my personality’s shadows equally as the light. It’s such a relief comprehending that it is ok not to be “perfect“, whilst at the same time I see perfection in all that duality offers to us.

As you may notice, I also love to depict flowers. Without intention flowers repeat in all my works. I see it as a subconscious expression of my very own feminine nature and beauty. Here I worked with a traditional flower in this series. The lotus flower and leafs are a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth in South-East Asia.

The second series I photographed in a small village in the Eastern part of Germany. Chasing random moments at strange places has always made me feel very much alive. However Eastern Germany is a region that I condemned with many prejudices for a long time, for its people are known of xenophobia. Little did I know that this trip was quite a healing journey for me, as I encountered very open-minded, friendly people at a rather unconventional villa that I stayed at.

I cherished every moment and imagined how my dear ones are with me dining at this long laid table. I was lying in bed listening to Henry Mancini, I drank red wine from corny gold rim tea cups, I listened to Udo and his son’s stories about alcohol, unemployment and the death of his wife. I took half naked selfies in the mirror, laid on rail tracks with a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. To make it short: I felt so free, for once - and a year later the supermarkets ran out of toilet paper.

Every time I think back to that trip, it brings me a broad grin on my face. I’m grateful for yet another experience to claim back my power. And on it goes.. May this work be an inspiration to especially those who feels trapped in their own skin. May it gift them with the opportunity of rebirth into a new perspective upon themselves and upon the world.